New Year Resolutions and Bad Habits....

Salutations Ladies and Gentlemen,

It has been a while and it is my first post since 2010. Its been a minute since I've had this much on my mind at one time. If you haven't heard or don't know....my mind moves like the wind do....(lol). Anywayz.....resolutions and bad habits. Well my resoultion has been to not procrastinate on my decisions and to act IMMEDIATELY upon them. Becuz I am so scatter-brained at times I'm easily distracted and I'm easily bored, so its quite often for me to not finish what I'm either saying or doing. So in that sense, I've been doing well on maintaining that. I'm actually involved in two life projects that require me to actually act on some things so procrastination has not been my friend this year. But my bad habit is the main motivator of this post.

*Sigh*

So I have a filthy habit of speaking my thoughts and of being stubborn....on purpose. Now I can imagine what you may be thinking......whose stubborn on purpose? Like "where they do that at?" But that is my personality and vice in a quick nutshell. I CAN'T STAND....when ppl claim they know what I'll either say or do. It literally drives me insane and towards the actual definition of anarchy. Like despite whether or not the situation is good for me, beneficial, profitable, or anything that's best for me.....I will have the tendency to be disobedient and go against the grain. I honestly have no idea where within me did it come from but I just can't help it. A situation in particular I guess is that a friend of mine will claim that I like something.....it could be an activity, food, or a person. And despite the fact if the information is true or not...the moment my friend speaks it into existence in a manner seeming smug as if they know that their opinion of me is soooo accurate that its inconceivable for them to be wrong...I will (almost w/o hesitation) act totally opposite. Its almost reflexive. The heart of the matter is...I don't like for ppl to know me well enough to predict me and if they can...then I don't want to know that they can. It annoys me beyond expression. I don't care how long we've been friends....I don't care if we've had a relationship...the only exception can be if we're kin. And sometimes I'm touchy about that. It gets even worse when it comes out of the mouth of a woman. (don't ask me why) Something about a woman other than my mother knowing what's going inside my head irks me at this stage in my life. I would just rather that you admit that you educatively guessed and got lucky. I have yet to discern a remedy to my "bad habit" and I feel like I need to discover one quick, before I inadvertantly cause myself extra grief for no reason. I wish ppl would just let me be so I wouldn't have to indirectly hurt anyone's feelings.

AoS